Future jobs and other considerations

I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted a blog and yet I haven't exactly lacked time. Most days at work are quite slow so I have plenty of time to do other things than to blog. However I guess I don't just want to rant about meaningless nonsence. Not that I really have that much to say today but that nagging inner voice kept telling me I should write something so I thought I'd better listen.

November 1st today and it's a fairly nice autumn day outside but I'm stuck here at work with not enough to do to fill my day, at least not in a meaningful way. But as this employment ends at New Years I spend some of the time looking for other jobs. Today I have applied for a job as a translator in Stockholm. I hope that I could get a chance to use both my Swedish and English skills for something worthwile.

Last week I applied for a customer service job in Ireland. This position is something I would really like and I'm hoping I will get far enough in the process to be called in for an interview. What they have advertised they are looking for more than one person but they require one Swedish and one Norwegian. I speak that as well if I have to but other than that I'm not too good with that language, lol.

Every week I read the quotes in my calenders and some I like and find to be so true while others I don't quite understand. This week I got:
Everyone wants to live long lives, but noone wants to be called old
To worry never makes tomorrow any easier, it just makes today more boring.
I think both of these says a lot. Esp the last one rings true for me lately as I have been worrying about the future although I'm trying to tell myself I don't have to. Instead of worrying I should work more actively to change things for the better. But as I don't like "should" that's where I have to start into making it "would" instead and everything would feel much easier.
The other statement you only have to look around you every day to see how true it is. We are constantly fed with TV, magazines etc giving us tips on how to stay young and live longer and we get to compare ourselves with celebrities who always look flawless of course. Reality is that most of the pictures of them out there are airbrushed and on TV they wear lots of makeup. I'm sure we all could look just as good with the same resources. Would be nice to have more acceptance out there for what people really look like.

I just got a reply about the translator job I applied for and it turns out it's not for employment at all but he's looking for partnership in his business. Think I will have to think about that for a while and come up with questions I need to ask before I give this man a call to discuss as I don't have finances to invest in a company. And I have to ask myself if I have what it takes to run a business. Hopefully I can find the answers I need in my meditation tonight.

I'm such a ditz

I'm sitting here on the bus on my way to Stockholm for the weekend. I have a few things to do, more about them later.

First I want to say a big thank you to Dianna for the award you gave me. Now to figure out how to get it and post it here to my blog but maybe that is something to put on my to do list for Monday when I am back home.

This weekend I have an On Camera course to attend in Knivsta north of Stockholm and I'm quite excited about it but also a little nervous. Unless I totally mess up it might be the key to my future and what decisions I have to make about my career in the coming months. My job coach found this move very interesting and he thinks I can use the experience for quite a few things ahead so that's positive.

Last night I ran around like a chook with her head cut off packing my bags in order to not forget anything and yet I woke up this morning realising several things I had not yet packed so added them to my bags before heading off to work today. Still when I came back home in the afternoon I realised even more things I needed to pack so they were added as well and 10 minutes before the bus was due to leave I walked out my front door and headed for the busstop, only to get there and realise I still forgot 2 very important items. One of them being my knee bandages that I need for certain activities, such as running but I guess I will just have to trust that all the hard work at the gym has paid off and my knees will be stable enough to last this weekend's activities.

The other thing I left behind mustn't have been so important after all because right now I can't even recall what that was, hence why I think I'm a ditz. I just hope I don't wake up sometimes tonight thinking about it, lol.

After the course ends on Sunday I have to head back to Stockholm where I have an audition for a commercial. I hope the course will have paid off enough for me to do a good job at that one and maybe be signed on for my first job since I signed up to be an extra.

Looking out the window at the beautiful sunny and warm evening outside the bus, that is currently heading into Eskilstuna for the first and only stop along the way to Stockholm, I just know that no matter what the weekend has in store I will enjoy every minute of it as I have a passion for the entertainment industry and this is my one and only mini vacation from the office I have all summer.

My mother is joking with me about my ambitions and asking how long it'll be till she gets to see me on the big screen and I tell her one step at the time. I think I have to learn how to crawl before I try to run although it would be a dream come true to be a character in a movie or tv-series.

July already

Today is 2nd July and I'm wondering what happened to June as it feels like it only started yesterday. Guess having been extremely busy for weeks have made the time pass very quickly and now suddenly it feels like time is standing still as it is a quiet week at work.
I am glad it's Friday and that I will be able to head home in a couple of hours to enjoy my weekend.

I haven't really made any plans what I am going to be doing but I don't have any problems finding tasks either as it seems to be an endless supply of having to do laundry, dishes, cook, apply for more jobs as the one I have is just temporary until 15th October.
As it's summer I feel I also want to spend as much time as I can outdoors enjoying the sun and the warm weather. If nothing else I do need to stock up on Vitamin D as much as I possibly can.

Possibly I will also be helping my family with some furniture that needs to be moved from various locations. My brother is getting rid of a book case that we have decided dad needs so mum and I will help dad put it in place and rearrange his living room a bit. My brother will instead put other bookshelves in his apartment to replace the one he gets rid of and I suppose he needs some help to carry those as well.

Now to go have a cuppa with my colleagues before we say goodbye for the weekend and some are starting their vacations.

Rainy day at work.

It's raining outside today and here I sit at work. At the moment the phone is quiet but I am sure I will get more calls from students and parents who have questions about the summer holiday jobs. Our politicians claim all the students leaving 9th and 10th grade who apply will get a job for the summer. And of course I would gladly give a job to each of them too but unfortunately we do not have enough jobs so plenty of kids are still without. This of course means we do get a lot of calls from people wanting an explanation why and some are angry while others are just very disappointed. I understand them and I would feel the same way if it was my kid not having something meaningful to do during the holidays.
My mantra for today is therefore to remember to not take it personally and that I can only do my very best to accommodate for everyone's needs with the resources we have.
I have already told one upset father today to contact the politician responsible for the statement as I feel they need to take responsibility for what they are saying to our media that these people listen to. They have it way too easy making empty promises that other people then have to try and sort out.

It's also raining outside my windows today so I didn't want to ride my bike to work as it is not fun sitting at work in wet clothes and since I no longer have my own office but is sharing with 3 other people I have nowhere to change. I'm glad there is a bus I can take and it's quite interesting to sit on it and study the other passengers and thinking where they might be heading. Sometimes there is someone I know also riding the bus so I get to have a conversation and at other times we might just give each other a friendly nod as we sit too far from each other to be able to chat.

I had planned on mowing my lawn after work today but I suppose I will have to delay that for another day when the sun is shining and instead I'm sure I can always find something to do inside. I have a wardrobe to empty out and move into my bathroom to put all my towels in. I have room for it in there now since I got rid of my broken washing machine. And I have blinds to put up in my bedroom window. Always so many things to do and never enough time. Days like today when I have a lot of spare time I almost wish I was working from home so I could use the time more efficiently.

It's a good feeling to let my mind wander away from work for a while when I have the time. It relaxes me and I immediately feel much better and it's not quite so rainy inside anymore. I'm looking at the sky to see signs if it intends to stop raining out there too soon but although I think it looks a bit brighter the clouds are still pretty heavy and covering the entire field of vision. I can even hear the rain landing on the windows.

Sleepless and the topic of forgetfulness

To have yet another sleepless night is never fun but at least today I got up to a very beautiful sunup. It's 5:15 am now when I decided I won't be able to get any more sleep this morning anyway because I have to leave earlier. First thing this morning I have an appointment with my dental hygienist...which reminds me I have to go find a document I need to bring.

Found it and a bunch of paper I was looking for that I needed for my taxreturn just over a week ago but then I simply could not find them. Wonder why that is.

This brings me to the subject of why I ended up sleepless in the first place. I woke up at 3 today after just barely 4 hours of sleep and after the necessary visit to the bathroom my brain was busy mulling over forgetfullness. Last night I was reminded about how I am very forgetfull and one of the things I sadly have to admit I forget is birthdays. I used to be so meticulous when it come to my friends and family and my calender used to be filled with colourful notes every month telling me who had a birthday coming up next and I used to try make everyone feel special by sending cards, bringing personal gifts and such. My mother even had a discussion with me about it a few times as she thought I was being way too generous especially as most of these people did not seem to return the favour but I loved giving. I still do and I think I am a generous person normally but these days gifts may not necessarily coincide with someone's birthday unless I am reminded about it several times in the days, weeks leading up to it and invited to attend a certain day. Of course this doesn't just apply to birthdays as that may sound a bit insensitive but a good example is that I had a note about a meeting that was going to take place last Tuesday sitting on my fridge in plain sight for me every day and still I missed that meeting. By that I'm trying to say that even if I still had the colourful notes in my calender it's not a given that I actually register that information and act on it.

Some good examples this year already is a friend having her birthday at the end of March and she did remind me about 4-5 days before the event, very subtly by just telling me her plans for that day. Just to make sure I wrote it down to make sure I would remember to give her a call on the day. Well I woke up the day after her birthday and realised I had forgotten completely.

In April I have a friend who has her birthday the day after my brother so easy to remember...at least it should be and yet I totally missed her big day. And that list goes on and on.

The reason I ended up sleepless over this was feeling guilty about forgetting this particular birthday and having unintentionally hurt a friend. I have a feeling it is not just her but another friend as well who had her birthday just a couple of days earlier who I know would feel very forgotten and neglected on that day and I told her had I still been in Australia I would have come to see her and take her out somewhere. But go from that to completely forget doesn't feel good. Feelings of guilt is the worst for me so any ideas on how to overcome this problem would be helpful.

So why is this? I wish I had a clear explanation but I don't even know for sure when it started happening as I also forget names and not just people's names but names of items, places etc and sometimes I probably sound like a total dill during a conversation because halfway through my sentence a word suddenly escapes me and at other times I can even jumble everything up so I don't even know myself what I just said. Some days are worse than others and especially during and after a migraine my brain is impaired. Can my migraines be what is causing my memory to be like this? I have no idea but I guess it's an interesting topic to google some day when I am bored. Another cause may be the bike accident I was in back in 2005 when at least my face got to taste the bitumen on the road since I wasn't wearing a full face helmet and I had a mild concussion as well along with cuts and bruises.

A month after that incident I was invited back here to Sweden for my sister's wedding but when my doctor heard about it she said no, absolutely not under any circumstances was I allowed to get on a plane for at least six months and especially not to fly for so many hours going overseas. I could have brain injuries that didn't show up on any scans and it could take up to a year for them to show up and flying with the different airpressure and such could trigger them, if I had any.

I would love to blame this accident for my memory problems as that is way more comforting than to think that what if I could have Alzheimers or something....no I won't even go there. What I do know is that my migraines became much more frequent after the accident than I ever had them before so something happened. One problem I have taken care of and that was my nose that was crooked and half blocked afterwards so now it's all healed and I can breathe better again I have less migraines as I'm sure some of my migraines were in fact sinus pain.

Anyway I won't solve the problem this morning and now I have better get off my bum and get some clothes on, some breakfast in my belly and head off into town so I don't end up late for my appointment.

Lunchhour ponderings

My radio is just playing some vioce clip from Germany and it is kind of distracting with mixed German and Swedish in my ears when I try writing in English.

I had decided I was going to join a couple of my workmates to go listen to the politicians in town but the guy I was waiting for finally came through. He called and told me the lists are on the way so I decided although it's a beautiful sunny day I'm better off doing the workload now so I can get home at a decent hour tonight.

The politicians who are going to be talking I am not going to vote for anyway as I do not like what they have offered in terms of promises so far. We do not solve the problems this country currently has by yet again increasing the taxes and raise the unemployment benefits. What we need is for them to lower the tax pressure on companies so they can afford to hire more staff and that way create more jobs and decrease the number of unemployed people. And lower tax for everyone I believe increases people's ability to keep the commerce going as they can afford to buy things and that too would increase number of jobs available.

Hopefully my father is home tonight as I am going to pay him a visit on my way home. I owe him money and felt today is a good day to pay him back and there is a new bridge they are going to open tonight. Maybe he wants to go to it and we could go together to witness that event.

Why does it take so long for emails to arrive when you're waiting for one? At other times they come very quickly. And still waiting here. Ah well it should be here shortly.

In the meantime I can always look out my windows and dream a bit, while listening to the radio. The radio station I wanted to listen to howeveer is currently not working. The last couple of days of trying to listen to it all I got was buffering. I listen through the computer as the radio I have in this room won't work.

The trees outside my windows here are starting to look green and that is so wonderful to see after the extremely long winter we had. Spring is my favourite time of year. I love seeing flowers come up out of the ground and come into bloom and to see the trees transform from naked to lush green, sometimes in a matter of just days.

I'm hoping this weekend will offer some nice weather so I can sit outside and read, tend to my garden etc. Most of all rest and relax and just enjoy the better weather.

Annoyances at work

Sometimes work can be so frustrating. The times I am referring to are the times when you are waiting for someone else to do their part in order for you to be able to move forward with yours. I am currently in such a situation.

I was supposed to get lists of names this morning to give placements to 'my' kids. I thought that was great but now it's 11:15 am and morning is almost over and so far nothing. I have emailed this person asking for the lists and I have called him on his phone, which he doesn't answer, to ask for them. I guess this means if I don't get them by the end of today, even though I was told yesterday afternoon they were all ready to be sent to me, I will have to go ahead and do placements anyway and if it ends up being wrong there's nothing I can do about it.

People who can't be trusted to do their job is a nuisance. I guess this means I will be able to use my lunch hour to go listen to the politicians when they come to town to talk about what they intend to do if they win the election. Just that the later I get these lists the longer my day here at work will be today.

Only positive I can see right now is that it gave me time to do some blogging but subject so far isn't exactly the best. Maybe I need to close this one and find a better subject.